Thinking About Forever
by AngryMew2
Summary: Jeff remembers his mother. My first angsty jeff/trish fic. PLease r/r!


Disclaimer- The only thing I own in this entire story is the plot.  Enjoy!

Thinking About Forever Time goes by 

_and God knows I try_

_To carry on with a life_

_Decide not to hide feelings inside_

            Jeff Hardy sat on the rail of the balcony adjoining his hotel room.  He stared up at the starry skies, and sighed sadly.  He hadn't done this for a long time, just sitting and thinking.  Sighing again, Jeff thought of his fiancée, and hoped she was still asleep.  Right now, he just needed to be alone.

Even though they hurt sometimes 

_I forget to remember you_

_It's easy to,_

_Lock away these pains_

The pain hadn't been this bad for a long time.  But then again, he hadn't thought about her in a long time.  What with wrestling, being fired, and plotting revenge, he had simply forgotten.  Jeff wished like hell he hadn't.  But at the same time he was glad he had.  Well, glad until the pain returned burning like it was now.  Burning like 2-pizzas-and-a-shitload-of-wings heartburn after the Superbowl.

Don't wanna relive it through But I stay strong You taught me how to move on in this world I married my sweetheart, even got a little baby girl I wish you could see her, I swear she looks just like you If you can hear me, show me a sign, please send a butterfly or two             Trish woke up, cold.  Looking over to the side of the bed opposite her, she saw it was empty.  She glanced outside and saw Jeff sitting on the balcony rail.  Slipping a robe on over her nightgown, Trish opened the sliding door and walked outside.             "Hey." She said quietly, leaning against his back. "What're you thinking about?" 

            "My mom." He replied, gently placing her arms around his waist. "She died twenty years ago today."

_I'm thinkin' about forever_

_Missin' you_

I know you're so much better We made it through 

            "Oh, Jeff, I'm sorry." Trish whispered, hugging her fiancée.

            "Don't be.  You didn't know."

            "I still feel bad.  I remember finding out…Jeff why didn't you tell me?"

            "I just did, didn't I?" he said, smiling slightly.

            "You goofball." Trish snickered.  They were quiet for a long while, then a new question occurred to her. "What was she like…your mother?"

            "She would have loved you." Jeff replied. "You two are a lot alike.  She was the sweetest woman ever.  If I ever needed anything, she was there for me.  We all loved her so much.  Did I ever tell you that when I'm wrestling, it's all for her?"

            "You just did." Trish smirked.

Now I know what it means to live for someone else 

_To give up yourself_

_Things have changed; in times your kinda strange; your love remains the same_

            "You know that's really sweet." She said, resting her head in the crook of his neck. "Not many guys do that kind of thing."

            "Not many guys lost their mom before they were ten." He muttered, suddenly bitter.

            "Hey, don't blame yourself.  You can't, you know that?"

            "I know.  Sometimes I wonder…I wonder if she's proud of me.  If she's happy with where I am now."

Do I make you proud? 

_Mama can you see me now?_

Whatever's good in me, it's because you showed me how 

            "Of course she is." Trish replied, hugging him again. "What mother wouldn't be proud to have you as their son?"

            "Did I ever tell you how much I love you?"

            "Maybe."

            "Well, in case I haven't recently, I love you more than I've loved almost anyone."

To take love by the hand 

_And so now I can share you with my baby_

_So that she can understand_

            "I know you do." She said, "and I love you, too."

            Again, they were quiet for a long time.  Jeff had trailed off into thought, reliving his childhood before his mother died.

            "I never told you this," he said quietly. "but for about a week after my mom died Matt wouldn't even look at me."

            "Why not?"

            "Apparently I looked and acted like my mother too much for him."

I'm thinkin' about forever Missin you I know your so much better We made it through             "That's really sad, Jeff.  But try not to live in the past."             "What exactly are you saying?"             "Don't dwell on that week.  It's perfectly okay to feel sad about your mother's death.  But you can't let it consume you.  Not after you've made it this far.  You know she wouldn't like that."             "I know, I know.  It's just…maybe if I had called 911 that day…or if I had told Dad about how I was feeling.  I honestly think I felt her death."             "You know that happened to me when my best friend died during my freshman year of high school.  I kept on blaming myself, but I realized I had to move on.  And I did.  So did you.  Now, look at where we are." I'm thinkin' about forever Missin you I know your so much better We made it through             "Yeah…I guess you're right." He felt Trish shiver involuntarily against him. "Go on inside.  I'll be back in a bit."             "I'm not going anywhere until you're ready to come inside." She replied.             "Just go.  You'll get sick if you stay out here in that nightgown."             "I'll be fine.  But I'm not going anywhere until you're ready to."             "Alright then," Jeff turned around and hopped off the rail, onto the cement floor of the balcony. "Let's get back inside before we both get sick."             Trish smiled widely and slid her arm around his neck.  He hugged her tightly around the waist and the two walked in together.  Trish went straight back to bed, but Jeff lingered slightly.             "I gotta go to the bathroom.  I'll be out in a sec."             Without waiting for a reply, Jeff walked into the nearby bathroom.  He rested his elbows on the sink and propped his face up on his palms.  Staring into the mirror, Jeff trailed off into thought again.  After what felt like a while, Jeff could have sworn he heard a voice whisper 'I'll be with you forever.' I'm thinkin' about forever Missin you I'm trippin on whatever Hearin' you             Smiling up at the empty air, Jeff left the bathroom and climbed into bed next to Trish.  He took her into his arms and held her for a while.             'Thanks, Mom.' Was his last thought before drifting off to sleep. The End A/N- Ok, the ending didn't turn out quite like I wanted it, but I think it was pretty good overall, don't you?  Please let me know!  I'd like to try writing more of this type of fic [songifcs] but if you reviewers don't want it, than what's the point?  So just let me know what you thought and [if you'd like] suggest a couple songs I could use! A/N2- Oh, by the way, in case you couldn't tell, this is a one-part-er.  So don't ask for a sequel cuz there won't be one!      


End file.
